The session of 10/10/2020 will always be remembered in my memories. It was a unique date and a unique session as well. From the session, I came to know that everyone is having a battle somewhere.
Like these amazing fellows, I don’t have courage to recall my past in front of people. No doubt it is important to connect and do things just for your emotional uplift but it depends upon your audience. You are a lucky person if you have people, with whom you can share your emotions and your feelings. But there are times, when we want to have someone who just listen to us but we cannot find someone like that. Not talking about others but I have a phobia of telling sharing my emotions with people. I do feel it will make me weaker if I share my weaknesses with people. I am always available to listen to my fellows every time. But so far sharing my feelings is concerned, I think I have mastered in suppering my emotions in my heart. The time teaches everything :)
As this gonna be my very or second last blog so I wanna say it clear what I leant so far in this fellowship. I did not join this fellowship to learn MS Office or Resumé writing etc. I joined it for my self evaluation. When I was in 9th class, first time I got the opportunity to study in co-education. So every second girl (or almost every girl) was my crush. A random girl, “Please take a side”. Inside my heart, “Agay baraati, pechay band baja” xD. Result: I lost respect among academy fellows and I evaluated myself as a loser.
When I went to the university, I promised myself, “In chakkaroo me nahi parna, sharafat ki zindagi guzarni hy”. But in the first 5 semesters just because of immaturity and irresponsibility, I made lots of crushes and 100s of wives (dil hi dil me). After 5 semesters, I opened my eyes and I was about to ruin (educationally, financially, mentally and lost my respect in everyone’s heart). It was a horror night mare for me.
I realized making girl friends or boy friends has become a fashion in our societies and is influenced by Indian/Pakistani Dramas and Western culture. And when I started earning, stepped into business, I realized that these things are only true in fairy tales or in TVs and also that reality is a bitter truth. I realized that spending 2 hours with your mom and sister is much better spending life with your so called crush which our religion does not permit as well. In the 6th semester, I stood up again and Allah blessed me more than I deserved. I am not an inch back from my goal I set for myself in 6th semester.
I wanted to have a platform where I can see whether or not I really have learnt and improved myself??
To be honest, I made a family at Amal as I planned, not crushes (not a single crush). Beside the Shughal, I don’t even want to get marry (I swear). I have neither interest in marrying nor in making false commitments or passing time.
The Amal Academy was a platform for my evaluation for self control, being busy and managing things, and fulfilling commitments. I want to play my role for the betterment of society and give a knock to the world. I got beautiful insights, ideas and pieces of advice from my beautiful fellows. I got different ideas how we can server society, nation and above all humanity ❤. In future, I pray that I continue the attitude of Amal Academy and improve the weak areas.